Kublai's art anthology in poetry

ALL OF THIS IS TEMPORARY

This dark gray sky
Will have to go away
This unknown sadness
Will have to go away
My visions of death
Will have to go away
This searing pain in my chest
Will have to go away
The strong winds
Will have to go away
My aching muscles
Will have to go away
The darkness of tonight
Will have to go away

So I can sculpt

So I can sculpt
The sun to shine some smiles
So I can sculpt
The wind to whisper some love
So I can sculpt
My character to withstand their time
So I can sculpt
My soul to live another day

I’m so sorry
I just have the need to sculpt
So I can also go away

MONSTER MAYBE

Visions of green and red
red blood exploding from
a green apple

Unexplainable feeling
a single leaf
walking towards me
cold wind on my left cheek

I have the strangest urge
To scream and stretch

I cannot draw
The dictates of my head
I am brought powerless
By the fact that I am
Only human
To comprehend
Signs that appear
So vividly


THE VIRGIN…

The virgin has no words
Bulging eyes from
Crying for the world
Helpless in its will
To change the course
Of all of life

She stitched her lips
And prayed in thought

Dear God
Let your son
Shine their path
And your daughter
Hear their way

Let your waves
Pull the push of
Modern tides
And your rain
Wash their pain

Let your clean
Spread the answer
Of your father
And the wind whisper
The wisdom of your
Mother

DRAGONFLY

Dragonfly
Freed by the sound
Of silence
Dancing still
In the rhythm
Of the pond

Guiltless
Pure
Flowing whisper of the air
Lost the flutist intention
To play

The calmness
Of all of life
Is swallowed by
These two creatures

Non-moving
Passionately living
Not breathing
Vibrating



EULOGY

I am leaving this
Place today with
The mystery planted
Several feet below its ground
And several more feet
Above in the open

Explaining myself
Would demean
The whole purpose
Of my creation

After all the hard work
And my excruciating backpain
My existence here
Is called to an end

It is not my place anymore
My creatures have found
Their spot
And it is up to them
To fulfill their roles
As new souls.

I thank you for the
Sunsets, for the breeze
And my morning coffees

And all the poetries

THERE I WAS

There I was
Alone
Just me and the storm
The whole undefined sky
Was a blur to my naked eye

The only answer
Given before me
Were the strong
Waves
That rocked my ground

I cannot stand
The pressure
Of this dream

The islands infront of us
Disappeared in fright
The sun withdrew to its shell


PRAYER

Sunrising
Clouds clearing
A double rainbow crossed the sky
The vast ocean is dark in blue
But the waves nearing me
Are starting to sea clear

I am swallowed by the depths
Of everything
Trapped in my own shallows
My arms wide open
In accepting my limitations
And so
I smiled alone before the clouds

I looked at my weary hands
And said to the waters

Wash these pair of hands
Which have been trying
To interpret
The language of your mystery

I am never perfect in my expression
And I am open
To the great probability
That I am wrong
That I have, all the while
Been doing wrong

Guide my hands as I will myself
To move in your direction

MANY HEARTS

Many hearts
Have not spoken
The waves of the ocean
Have come to shore
To share the
Deprived silence
Of their thoughts

The cries that lie
Beneath her smile
Have clouded this
Day
Into storm

The memory of
Once calm seas
Settled her blood
To low



WHO OWNS WHO?

The physical realm
Has fucked men and women
In all possible holes
I cannot imagine any reverse
To again become whole

I pray for a divine meteor
To wash away all our sins
And start fresh

But the bubbles are just mine

Should I silence my hands
From its purpose
So to not complicate the lives of others?
Should I hide in the forest and sulk
In my weird understanding of
Human nature?
Should I kill myself
And flow with the wind
That blows in my ear
Inviting to the heavens
Of no limitations

I’m sorry.
I only wanted to sculpt
Freely without dictations
And speak my heart
With the purest of
Intentions

WOKE AND WALKED

Woke and walked
To my usual space
In the bench
By the beach
And thought

Is there ever death
That truly speaks of death?
And life that fully
Scream for leaving?

How I wish to experience
Total silence

Where I can breathe
The air of love
But not decay in the dust
Of hate and anger

How I wish to vibrate
In all directions
And lay still
Deep within

As rock as
This stone
Where I am

As hard as this sculpture
That I create


SCULPTED WATER

Sculpted water
As whispered by the wind
Carved stones
Crafted by the waves
Mountains and hills
Shaped by time
The ever changing masterpieces
Above the sky
Painted by the seasons
Clouds formed
By the skill of a thought
Flowers bloom
Into its perfect shape
Butterflies morph
The moment
To last eternity

Everything
Everything but the human hand
Whose touch
Spoils beauty into dust
And the will
Drags strength
Into a must

DREAM

Last night in my sleep
In my half-way state to
Dreamland
I wandered about reality

The moon was staring
Right through me
As I gazed back
A vision of a giant kite
Flew in front of me

Suddenly
The rope was in the hands
Of my fate
Everything seemed
Like daylight

It was so clear
That I can see my tears
Reflected by the moon

And in the moon
I saw myself with a
Tear containing a giant
Kit with a moon and
A tear and me

And me tearing the kite and
The moon that
Contained me


Bliss

Calm morning
That many many waves
That bump each rock
Resonate a harmonious
Sound in my ear

I feel stoned
In bliss

Hard and heavy
In the principles
That I am made
Yet willing to be shaped
By circumstances
That come my way
Which calms my way


A MOST QUIET AFTERNOON

A most quiet afternoon
Coming from a dead sleep
Life has begun before

The silence is deafening
Except for my heightened
Sense of smell

Rotting animals
Stinking street cats
The fragrance of the lines
Of dreaming
Now beginning to fade

MY HANDS ARE

My hands are too
Crumpled for my age
My skin is too wrinkled
For my time
My head is too big
For this world
And my heart
Is too huge for this life

I am lost in my searching
Confused in my asking
Swallowed in my seeking

SEASONS

Plants die
Mice eat to live
Rivers are non-existent
Much more the
Mountains
And its breeze

This space is a place
Of work
For the tired and weary
Who cannot just die
And vanish
Destined
Obligated
Chosen
Trapped
STUPOR

My skin feels raw
My wisdom tooth drained
Every cell in my brain
Aching
I am pulling my own hair
The only thing that sticks
In my head
Are the two guyabano seeds
Left in the
Comfort room floor for
Days
But black objects don’t feel right
Except for the white glow
In its each right

I WANT TO BREAK AWAY

I want to break away
From my controlled sanity
And run carefreely
To the gracelands of my
Pattern-filled thoughts
Into my seemingly
Abstract reality

There is a need
For me to go to the bathroom
And shit this useless
Urge to kill myself

It is coming
It is behind my back
The thought of death
Flushed from
My spine down to below

I am tired of sharing
My strength
Extending my gifts

But there is just
So much love
So much love in my heart

That I have to
Puke, and fart
And blurt, and shout
And scream
And scare it out of my self



I PLACED A ROSE

I placed a rose
An old leaf and a new leaf
At the base of my sculpture
I poured coffee
To my mixed cement
And spit on it for strength

How thin can I
Spread myself to touch as many?
How contained am I to become
To not lose myself?
How much space am I allowed
To bloat my soul?
How eccentric can
I pretend to be
So as to be free?
How crazy can they see me
In my knowing?
How happy do I get to be
In my being?

SCATTERED

Walking without any direction
By the shores of the beach
My eyes lost in the
Many trash
Scattered in between rocks
And dead corals

I saw a crab
And I howled in laughter
Inside myself
As it tried to walk on water

I picked a dilapidated baby sandal
It reminded me of my daughter
Whose purity could restore
The damage
Of this piece
To this peace

I cannot see you wind
But I know you’re there
I’m invisibly
Guided by your
Whisper

To go on picking
Driftwoods
Rubber
Love and
Hate
And styros
And sticks
and plastics



THE EVENING CANNOT LIE

The evening cannot lie
Only the dishonest
Sleeps in their shame

A housefly awake and bugging me
At three in the morning
Two beings burdened
Bothered by their flight

I cannot sleep
I don’t know about the roosters
They seem
To scream for help

MY PLEA

I promised my soul
For as long as I lived

That I am to quench
The last of their ignorance
And hang them to the ropes
Of their own stupidity
Until to the point
That they get to lift
Their heads to the
Concrete truth
Erected before them

I am not angry
I am only gracefully mad
At the world that I see
And no point is heavier
Than a twenty-ton steel
Sand and cement
Sculpted to perfection
By my hands
Smoothened by their biases
Weathered by the sun
And their sons’ bathing
In their bitches

Forgive my art
I have been staring at my sculptures
For two hours now
Pleading for some silence



SUN

Strange sun
Chasing me
Wherever I run
In the shadows of the trees
To the depths of my dreams

Queer sun
Painstakingly stabbing my skin
With its little needles
Enslaving me to work
Under its spell

Weird sun
Slapping my face
With its burning palm
Forcing me to race
In the direction
Of its rays


WOW, DAVAO IN INTRAMUROS

All is fucked here
I cannot find beauty
In any of these human crafted products
Sprouting everywhere

They’ve created a plastic
Banana plantation
And some plastic coral reefs
And more plastic fishes
And terrible painted forests

The province boxed in a
Clam-shell shaped building
And the pearls
Happen to be so unreal

The only magnet that attracted me
Are the birds that fly free
Above the intramuros skies
I wish to disappear
And join their pack


LOST IN MAKATI

There is no sunrise here
There was not a glimpse of the
Moon last night

What happened to this place?
Concretes and steel have risen
High above the boundaries
Of God
And the value of life
Has been squeezed
Into sheets
Of stained paper

I miss my province.


BACKWARDS

How I wish to grow
Backwards
Erase the fancy egos
Of my adulthood
My brains have been washed
By the delicate rules
Of my supposedly
Evolved society

How I wish to grow
Backwards
To a state of nothingness-
Of no results
Of no ambitions
Of no obligations
Of no rules

A learned
Learning to play dirt
Wisdom dipped
In mud

PEACE

I slept last night
With the lights on
I was probably too tired to notice

I am trying to rest now
With my neighbor’s
Over-amplified music
And I am occupying
A space
In between my over-crowded
Thoughts

Sleeping beside my
Unfinished dreams
Waking to a brand new day
Smelling the aroma of work

How can I ever rest?
I might never die in peace


WHAT A WAY TO WAKE UP

Shivering from an
Airconditioned room
Ten stories above ground
There is nothing interesting
Outside but skyscrapers

I am surrounded
With over-sized ambitions
That went beyond the simplicity
Of living comfortably

The city has become a large quarter
Of barely sleeping zombies
Who seemed to have
Sucked
Every river of dreams
Dry

HAIRDO

Spaces
I am left behind places
In my art
In my fatherhood
In my relationships
In my spirituality
In the totality of my supposed
Self I wished to be

Which to go?
Where to do?
Why be?
How is it?

Live can offer me all the wisdom
And beauty beneath my hat
But how is it
That I cannot let go
Of my hair
Carefreely?

Love has its way of binding me
I know this love will grow
I just know
My hair told me so


MY BROTHER’S WEDDING

I wish that this ceremony
Would come out more sacred
Than just a fancy ritual
That they see the planets aligning
As they tie their knot
That they feel the synchronicity
In the palms of their hands
That they breathe
Only the love
Amongst the air of human illusions
And exhale only love
Without stains

I wish for them to read
The invisible lines of poetrees
Between their stares
Every single day
Near or apart

FINALLY

Happiness sat by the bench
Truths
Comforted by its strength
The spaces in between hands
Consumed by each other
Overwhelming passion
To have known this union

Two souls
Married by a bird
Whose song of love
Emanates
From the bottom of the sea
To the highest cloud
Above the sky

This love
Humbled itself
For the greatest gratitude
Of having found
Each other
Finally

RAW

I am heavily wounded
Two decaying wounds
On my left knee
A boil on my leg
More boils at my back
Wounds on my fingertips
Scratches on my arms

What I have
Is a real
Dirty work-
Constantly exposed
To heat, dirt, cement
Chemicals and criticism


STAY AND STARE

I clenched both fists
Rubbed them in my eyes
An I saw this skewed triangle
Angled towards my right
In deep maroon
Glowing with a green border
A kind of green
Found only in rainforests

My body is defragmenting
After a weeks work
My visions are coated
With a rich combination
Of this immense will to work more
And the privilege laziness
That I deserve

I wish I could afford
To just stay
And stare


STRANGE

Strange world
Strange means
Strange ways
Strange everything
And I can change
Nothing

But I like it
I’m actually loving it
This light
This dark
This smell
The fragrance of roses
The taste
And all the waste

And most of all
When places fall
Into things that matter
Into thoughts
That wander

Gross

Proper time
Right place
Spoon and fork
And a circular plate

Life is confusing enough
Let me eat my
Smile
To celebrate
Moments of bliss

Teaspoon
Salad fork
Steak knife
SINcronicity sucks
When things don’t fit

Life is grand
But limited
Like this table
In my head

MOSQUITO NIGHTS
San Agustin Church, Valencia

Vines, a flower, twigs, cement, steel
All situated above a carpet
Of weeds

A mindless thought
Wishing for world peace
And a mosquito-less
Sleep

Last night
I remember dreaming
But I cannot recall
If I ever slept at all

I was bugged by
Many senseless thoughts
Loads of unfinished work
Hills of insect bites

I am sitting now
In this liturgical stage
Covered with red
Below the cross are a pair of feet
Spitting red
And this bloody mosquito
On my arm
Sipping red


SAN AGUSTIN CHURCH, VALENCIA

This humongous church
Doesn’t even have a bell
It can seat a thousand
Pair of butts
And could probably stand
Another thousand pair of
Shoes and sandals
But it could not contain
A single man’s search
For meaning

The answers hang invisible
In its high ceiling
And symbols lie floating
In its unstained glass windows
Its construction of intertwined steel
Is more like a giant gym
Than a realized dream

FOGS IN BUDA

Children playing hula-hoop
In an abandoned
Makeshift basketball court
Rich red soil
Unplanted, barren

The whole mountain
Is now a playground
Of this ghostly fog

Magnificent bloom of flowers
Dedicated to the passing
Invisible God

I can see the laughter of
The kids
But I cannot hear them dance
I feel cold
Human
And limited

Nothing

In my world
There are no written rules
The law of instinct prevail
Unstructured as it is
Volumes of unseen regulations
Printed in bold, transparent ink
Are engraved right before
My head
There is no such thing
As right and wrong
Only the ugly
And the beautiful
And there are no directions
In either left or right
Only forward and upward
Well, oh well
That is this thing with me
I am always correct
Unless I’m right

PURITY

Last night was fun
I drunk alcohol to shut
The sound of boredom
I watched action movies
To shot the shallowness of my head

I was also looking
For some futuristic movies
To fly me somewhere other than here
I am simply bored with my head

I have no hope
Enough to carry the burden of the world
No strength enough to carry
The pains and sufferings of the wary
No dreams pure enough
To replace reality
No imagination
Beautiful enough to restore
Purity

MY BABY

All rots could rot in jail
But not me
Every heart could break their bone
But not me
Even if heaven burns like hell
Not me
You could all hammer each others nail
Not me
Even the darkest night explodes to death
Not me-
Every last one of you could fuck each other whole
Not me

Not me
Because I have a lovely daughter

HAVEN’T

I haven’t been reading enough
I haven’t been writing enough
I haven’t been out in a long while
It’s been a while since I last saw television
I cannot remember my last decent conversation

It’s been a while since I last prayed
Since I last meditated
Sculpted
Expressed
Made love

Since I’ve last seen myself

END OF THE YEAR

I declare this moment
A time for myself
To get myself lost
In the company of flowers
And fade in the lush of greens

I want to be powerless
For this once
At the end of this year
And submit myself
In the flow of the water
In the falls

I do not want to think
May the butterflies carry
My thoughts to wherever
I do not wish to move my hands
To any kind of productive work

I want to bury my hands dead
In the thick brown earth
Ready to be resurrected in the
Next year’s heavy work

FREAK

I woke up
Feeling very edgy
I am about to kill anybody
Who stays stagnant
I want to see people working
Moving their hands
Breaking their bones
Stretching their minds
To a state of productivity

I feel like a psycho
About to turn berserk

My carpenter is a snail
With one hand on his hammer
And a nail on the other

My neighbors are hard-working
Their mouths don’t seem
To want to stop talking
I want to add their teeth
To my cement

I am at the edge again
In a cliff of hard-headedness
In the peak of freaks
About to fall asleep

I am controlling my mind gracefully
So others would not notice my insanity

ONE FIFTEEN P.M.

It is silent now
The electric fan
Is blowing hard to make me sleep
It cannot

My brain has gone curvilinear
To extremely curly
My illustrations
Don’t come close to anything
I have seen physically

What the hair is going on?
My baby milks like an alcoholic
And mother looked like a cow
And I am becoming
A vampire on vacation

I am losing my knots
The tie between time and space
Is weakening

Epitaph

Chaos in my soul
Is the visual abstract
In this wall
Disorder in my painting
Is the very order
Of what I call living

I find beauty in strange stuff
My society dumps them as garbage
I find ecstasy in just a flower
So people don’t seem to matter

When I feel messy
The world seems fine
When I am fine
The world is in distress
The world has gone crazy
And I am the only one left sane

Queer has become my middle name
Parallel to this land
I came
To tame

They are so coldly aloof
To the softness of humanity
But so hot tempered
To the intricacies of being beautiful

The epitaph of truth
Smashed in the canvass
Of my youth

MOMENTS

Eating is fun sometimes
When the food is really good
But it bores me still

Sports are always dragging and
It bores me too
I cannot play with myself
And rules suck

Dancing is out of the question
It burns my energy to an
Unproductive output

Singing is never fun unless
I sing with my own note and
Tune and voice and soul
Too complicated for my simplicity

Sex is the closest best thing
But I cannot exercise it
As much as I wish and with

My art is the most decent
Thing left for me to do
Unpretentious, safe and
Obligation free!

ILLUSIONS

The angles of lines and shapes
Distort as I walk further
I am hearing voices
But when I really listen
There is nothing
I am having visions
Yet when I try to
Open my eyes wider
There is nothing
Not even an image or a shadow
of anything
Nothing
Things skew as I
Evaluate my consciousness
I try to fill my life
With words
But nature has its way
Of disfiguring me out
The images that I try to paint
Misrepresent the actual even if
I feel contortions on my actions
The moment I exert energy
On my memory
I am failing to see
My mind is perverted
The world I live in
Is inverted
I am agitated by any
Verbal feedback that
I receive
I’m sick and fucked

PERFECT

I am sad with my pieces
Just as I always am
With all the body of works I have
Is it because of my being
A perfectionist
Or my incapacity
To be perfect?


UNTITLED

I have thoughts of sadness
I have thoughts of joy
Nonetheless, the mere fact that
I am capable of thinking
Makes me grateful


UNTITLED

I lost my set of keys
I can’t feel my thighs
I’m missing one of my rings
I’m having double vision
And my knees bend by themselves

My instincts has got to be
Connected to my veins
To the roots of the earth
And to the threads of the wind

But how come I’m missing some links?
And unfeeling some things?

I’m probably obsessed with
Something I can’t have
And I’m consciously denying my desires

God help me if I do
God help me if I don’t


AT YOUR SERVICE

I serve as an option
A choice for those who wanted out
I serve as an inspiration
A torch for those landed in hell
I serve as a filler
A universe for the spaced-out
I serve as an ear
For puzzled faces with scattered thoughts
I serve as a garbage can
A mess for those with seemingly organized behaviors
I serve as a gift
A surprise package to those
Who ran empty
I serve as a mirror
To flowers who need to appreciate
Its own beauty
I serve as a liquor
To sober intoxicated dreamers
I serve as a bowl
To loaded rotting shits who have to go


UNTITLED

I wish I could talk
To my sculptures
Tell them stories
Of my adventures
Share my innermost thoughts
And my not so recent and decent
Desires
And converse for hours, for days,
For years, for ages

I wish I could play with my sculptures
Play hide and seek in some of
My country’s most beautiful spots
Chase the sunrises and sunsets
From the outlines of the map

I wish I could hear my
Sculptures
Confess witnessed human frustrations
Confer conspiracies of our alien neighbors

I wish I could live with my sculptures
Lay silent and stable
Deep-rooted and purposeful

RONARDS

There’s a sunrise somewhere beyond
These walls
And fields of flowers beneath this
Subdivision

I’m fishing dreams in my flat bed
Harvesting potatoes in my couch
Reaping the efforts of my hard work
Not from the soil
But from other peoples wallet

I am so dedicated
I’m having to wake up
In a lake, the sea or the mountain

Having to afford the first
Hours of the morning
With my pages and myself
Fully deserving of everything

OCTOBER 8, 2004

What are other people doing
At this very moment?
Are they lounging on their butts
With entertainment?
Or are they pushing someone
Else front?
Are they watching a screen
Of other people’s thoughts?
Or they’re sucked in someone else’s maybe?

It is somewhat late
Rich people could be comfortably settled
In someone else’s bed
And poor people could still be working
On someone else’s instruction

Why do I bother their business?
I am only an observer
Of the different truths
A garbage can of distorted values
A twisted medium of instruction

My father is out of town
My mother is in town
My older brother is out of town
My younger brother is in town
And I decided to become
My own family

I father my issues
I mother my feelings
I am a sister to my sadness
And a brother to my success

I have become a self sufficient unit
Fucking myself and loving just as much

UNTITLED

I am sorry for being
So naïve

For I see pain
As something that goes away

For I see complications
As something that can be simplified

For I see death
As a beginning of a new life

For I see storms
As preludes to rainbows

For I see challenges
As just bumps on the road

For I see hate
As the gateway to love

For I see hunger
As an opportunity to gain

For I see beauty
As a mere fact of life

Forgive me for trying so hard
Forgive me for trying to understand

UNTITLED

Why should I even bother
To describe this world
At how they fuck
Each others’ wholes?

I’d rather be gone instead
Disappear in my shallows

In a moment when I
Get blown away by the
Sight of a sun
Rising from the horizon

At a time when butterflies
Chase my butt
Into seasons of nothingness

Anytime but not now
Not in this state of
Frustration and confusion
Not in the hallways of distortion

I might never be granted
Peace until I’m rid of life
And I might never be
Granted life until I’m
Rid of death

2:47 P.M., AUG 17

I want to sleep
More than I should
More than I need to

So I can fly
In my thoughts

And manipulate my stupidity
To its death

And late fate control
The dream
That should have been

But I can’t just sleep
In the middle of the afternoon
Everything is so wide awake
And I don’t want to miss
A thing

The inscriptions of happiness
Are patterned in the flowers

The key to bliss
Is in the spine of a leaf

The mark of joy
Is printed on a butterfly wing

The intricacies of human simplicity
Are mirrored on a dew drop

Darkness conceals true beauty
Dreams are submerged into reality


UNTITLED

How can you write poetry
When you’re faced by an ocean
Wider than your mind?

How can you write poetry
When you can inhale the wind
Fresh from a distant sea?

How can you write poetry
When the birds have already written
The verses on coconut leaves?

How can you write poetry
When the sunset is screaming
For your full attention?

Who can you write poetry
When your lungs are bloated
By the laughter of children
Playing nearby?

How can you write poetry
When your heart is filled
With the overwhelming harmony
Of everything?

UNTITLED

I am going for a walk
Under this new sky
Pale orange merging into
A sea of grey
And I’m taking your hand with me

A few more miles
Beyond these clouds
A few more minutes
After this moment
The sun will shine
Upon itself

This world has complicated
Both our lives
But we could simplify
All these
If we look at each others’
Beauty

Beauty mirrors love
Love mirrors God

NIGHT WALK

I went out for a walk
Tired from my days’ work
I saw blackness
In all its colors

No lines
Nor shade
Can stain the state
Where I was

I need not look further
For every step forward
Has happened already in the past

My lack of vision
Has led me to the dream
That I thought
Was just another dream

I was moved by the force
Fiercer than the monster
Beneath me
But I was made strong
By the master inside me

BE CRAZY
June 11,2004

Insanity is a way out
Of this inhuman existence
We have to let go
Of our needs and wants
To feel the oneness of space
Outside the comfort walls
Of our narrow minds

We have to cross the boundaries of logic
And let ourselves be guided by a force
Far unknown to all of us

The truth shall set us free
And freedom is less than an atom
Away from our brains
All we need to do is to snap
Bang your head
Distort logic
Accept irrationality
Shit the toxic out of your system
Let go of conventions
Read the invisible
And be totally
Crazy

Only then can you follow
The complicated pattern of your simplicity
Only then can you see clearly
It is as simple as that
And this is the abstract truth
We fail to see

HOW I AM
June 9,2004; 1:06am

I’m as useless
As anyone else

I am as perverse
As everyone else

I have a baggage
Like everybody

I’m crap
As all of us are

But at least
I’m conscious about
Wanting an end
From all these

I want death
With an ending
Or life everlasting

I want war with
A purpose
Or peace without
Security
I want to love
Unconditionally
Or to hate
Objectively

I’m a thing of the past
But I see myself, too
As a spark of
A distant future

I smell bad and
I look awful
I wear a mustache
A beard
And an abandoned set of
Hair

I have a tireless
Pair of hands
Useless
Pair of eggs
And
A solitary penis
That works at his own time

I have a good watch
But I don’t exactly know
What day and time it is

I am born to two
Loving parents
Who live separately
With two loving brothers
Who think differently

I was baptized Christian
But I was born against it

I’m a fragment of a fraction
Of a memory
And I’m freaking my way
Out of here

My answers are as confusing
As my questions
My thoughts are as inconsistent
As my actions

I feel stupid in trying to explain
The theory of life
In my terms

Why do I have to be always pregnant?
To give birth to ideas
I don’t even know who
The father is or was
Or what

I’m fucking my brains
Out of my system
And the orgasm is expected

I know this shit
I have experienced this feeling
I knew it was coming
And I knew that I wanted more

What if I cut my dick
Grind some for the fishes
And scatter the rest
To the earth?
Would I get reincarnated
As a non-thinking Buddha
Who gets fucked
Without guilt of hurting
Stepping or taking advantage

I am a sculptor
And I’m carving my way
Out of this life
Masturbating the remaining
Addiction of by being human

I dreamed of aliens
Taking me out of here
Far away
To a distant planet
Of the same flora and fauna
And the same environment
Yet of totally different
Values

Where love for work
Is valued deeply
Where visions are chased
To be actualized
Where dreams come true
Love unstained
Cement bags are free
And I get to sculpt
The grandest version
Of myself
And still get
To make love
With the divine female counterpart
Inside the other half
Of my soul

UNTITLED

Nature has been so
Abstracted by this city
Driven by the madness
Of commerce

Cars have evolved
Machines have revolved
And fate will have its way
Around this growth

Plants have been dwarfed
Fruits altered
Animals modified
Values recessed

So goes my art
No wonder it has grown
Awkwardly bigger than its size
Chemically induced
And technically enlarged

It has loved
The way it looks down on people
Showing them how they are
And treating them
The way they deserve

How can one stop
The source of reason
And how can one
Alter the purpose of creation?

Let me show you how.


CAMIGUIN

This island has a
Fine curse on my soul

The waves have their ways
Of caressing my tired body

The clouds have their ways
Of condensing
My abused creative cells

The sun has its ways
Of neutralizing
My burning passion

The sands have their ways
Of trickling my journey
To a pause

The trees have their ways
Of cleansing my collapsing lungs
Back to their size

The ocean has its ways
Of spreading my temper
Into a sea of understanding

The hot springs have their ways
Of soothing my back

The birds have their ways
Of filling the blanks
In my language

The stars have their ways
Of igniting the sparks
In my head
And lights my hands
To do more

FLOAT

The moon cuddled me
Last night to sleep
And made me too rested
For the sunrise
And the fact that
I had an overdose of life
From yesterday’s sunset

I can see some strong waves
From the reef
But I’m more interested
With the shallows
In front

I dipped my body
In the ocean
Cold arms washed
The remaining fragments
Of my dream
In the waters

I float
My head
Aligned to my feet
A few feet above the sand
Kilometers from the sun
And eternity to my destination

Not knowing what to think
Not owning anything
I was just separate
From the world
Far out
Yet
In place
And
In touch

SIARGAO WALKS

My walks have been my prayers
My stares have become my wishes
My swims have been my pleas

The hot white sands
Have diffused my frustrations
The flat horizon
Has broadened my understanding
And extended my patience
The colorful sky
Has defined my character
And the waves
Have calmed my reason

UNTITLED
April 28,2004

Look at me
I’m all wounds
Dark and thin

I look older
Than my age
I move more than I should
And I work more than I can

I’m so spaced-out
From their universe
I wanted to be
A star
To glow in the dark sky

I lose myself
During the day
I struggle to work
To make a difference
So I could shine
In the fields of white

I’m just
Not there.
Tired.
But I manage to squeeze
Some strength
To figure out
How I want to become


ART
April 21,2004

Art
A calling
A crime
A passion
Or simply
Away out of boredom

Art
Dance of hands
Play of brains
Swim of souls
Or
Just a skill
Assumed as special

Art
Confused thoughts
Abstracted interpretations
Twisted lusts
Or
Plain unnecessary
Lies
Referred as truths

Art
Medium of instruction
Carrier of destruction
A path
To personal freedom
Or
The road
To eternal damnation

Art
Paints on canvass
Bended and melted steel
Carved stone
White sheets with sketches
Or
The physical manifestations
Of our dreams and fears

Art
Toy of the insecure
Games for the weak
Mistress of the rich and obsessive
Wife of the norm
Or
A widow of the loners

Art
A diversion to something big
A mixture of a cheap drink
Aged wine, mass-produced
For my capacity
Or
Simply
A selfish trick
To camouflage unworthiness

Art
Impulsive will
Untamed semen
Disregarded values
Replacing sensual highs
Intellectual masturbation
Or
Simply
The lack of sex
Expressed

Art
Dumb man’s
Profession
Hardheaded scholars
Famous daughters
Of bitches
Or holy sons
Of prophets
Who went nuts

Art
No one knows
Or
I would know

UNTITLED
April 1,2004

Ordinary knowledge
Bore me
Senseless conversations
Mock my brain
Loud minds
Scare my peace
Blank stares and
Empty eyes
Drive me crazy

Where am I to go in this
Subhuman phenomena?
My eyes closed
My dick fucking my hand
My heart shrinking inwards

Then there I am
Pretending to be
One of them
Or unknowing
That I’m one of them

UNTITLED
February 20,2004

Sitting by the curb
A motorcycle passed
Carrying a father with his daughter
The little girl
Pointed upwards
She saw something interesting
So I glanced at the direction

There was nothing there
But oversized eagles
Twenty-five feet tall

I remained sitting by the curb
Wandering of that something
That was not

I thought of my own daughter
How she is
What she does
Where she’s at
And what she points

UNTITLED
April 14,2004

Why do I have to
Write the lines
Before my eyes
When it has already been
Written in my palm

Every movement, every action
And decision that I choose
Cannot escape the patterns
Of my forehead

My skin is a mere illusion
Of my made-up self
My bones have become
The structures of my principles

I feel frozen
Like my sculptures
I have become a moment
Carved by my own thought

My hands spread naked
Wanting to play
But wishing to just
Stay

PATH

I chose the path of flowers
Vines of its truth
Intertwined with myths of the old
My feet touching the soil
My hands feeling the petals
My eyes wallowing its colors
It’s veins webbed into my consciousness

Sunlight sipping through its fibers
Revealing God’s instructions

I chose the path of trees
Trunks solid in principles
Roots stable under its oath
Bearing fruits to feed the human mind
Breathing inconsistencies
And exhaling only God’s love

I chose the path of grass
Green, plenty and ordinary
Yet humble and accepting
Stepped and scrapped by people
Yet passively growing God’s will

I chose the path of riverstones
Hard and heavy
But loose and free
Every touch of water on its shoulders
Reminds itself of the ocean
Its destination and its death
God’s source of wealth

I chose the path of sky
Invisible and invincible
Filled with clouds
Canvass for my dreams
The playground of my soul
The kingdom of my God

LANAO

Dark gray Lanao skies
Still seas
Coconut mountains
Everything is so peaceful
From my distance

War has lorded over these lands
Mosques and churches
Became walls of division
The Glass seas
Reflect the once calm
The land that stretched
The horizon
Will forever be
Their price of freedom

Peaceful warriors
With notebooks, pens and brushes
Bibles and Qur’ans
They dare to walk this path
To live, sleep and eat
To work and pray and play
With only their hearts to give
Minds to share
Hands to bare

Had to detach
Had to retouch
Had to rematch
I’m piling blocks of peace
Piece by piece

LANAO WORK

Two hundred and forty-three steps
Up the hill
And seven concentric circles
I have arrived here in Dapit-Alim

One hand loaded with tools
Another hand with my family
I have carried with me
My treasure
And I intend to bury myself alive
Without reservations

Spending days working
Under the ecumenical sunlight
Resting in crescent moons at night
And waking up on rainbow beds

Mosques and mosquitoes
Morning prayers and evening sickness
Rainy working days
And coconut breaks

My life revolves inside a tree stump
Each day springs to a new leaf
Flying birds
Bugging flies
And fucking dogs

Hardworking boys
My lovely wife
And our bulging baby

UNTITLED

I want to share my lifetime
With a “second”
Hold hands with “destiny”
Kiss “eternity” intimately

My future holds only one woman
And she is known to me as “now”
And I wish for us to bear fruits of “love”
And nourishing our children with “moments”

To sleep on a rainbow
Made me dream in color

Making love with the waves of the ocean
Hugging the “other”
In myself

UNTITLED

I love you when I’m thinking
I love you when I’m not
I love you when I’m feeling
I love you when I’m not
I love you when I’m working
I love you when I’m not
I love you when I’m eating
I love you when I’m not
I love you when I’m painting
I love you when I’m not
I love you when I’m seeing
I love you when I’m not
I love you when I’m listening
I love you when I’m not
I love you when I’m dreaming
I love you when I’m not
I love you when I’m loving
And will ‘til I’m nothing

UNTITLED

My art is my life
My definition expands
As I search
Deepens as I keep asking
Narrows as a slide
Through its corridors
A never ending expression of experience
Like my pains, my senses are
My hues to my imagination

As I wander around us
My art on frames break its form
To newer levels
To seek its barest, lightest, deepest
And unto its highest

Spaces around me
Shaped the quality of my time
The very canvass of my moments
Become masterpieces that I could
Possibly brag about
At the end of this journey

My art moved
From non-living to living
From past to the future
From moments to eternity

I am referred by most
As an artist
I bound myself to their description
For I have dedicated my life
In creating pieces of such

My daily routines
Involve my hand and mind
Observing what is ugly and beautiful in others
And interpreting its other side

My art made me
A balanced being
My art rationalized
My limited understanding
My art has crafted me
A parallel path
From which I could view the world
Without judgment

My art has kept me sane
Amidst all the madness
That surround me
My art has shown me
The way to the truth
My kind of truth
That respects others

Like children we play
Doodles on paper, boards and walls
Like teeners
We duplicate, copy and renovate
Cartoons, junk, animation, faces
Of loved ones
And adults we craft
Skillfully, with pride and dignity
With precision and passion
Artists of different generations
Different in medium
Intertwined in its drive to flow

I am my father and my daughter
My mother and my son
My grandfather and my ancestors
The artist that I am
Has come a long way
Redefined reasons for its sake
Induced passions to pacify urges
Caressing my own issues
Into sculptures
Lulling my predicament to sleep

The expansive will to share and care
For whom I thought were less and incapable
These are my portraits
My drive to flow
The facets of my soul
That has been trying to
Interpret itself
As a …………….. (unknown) form


SIGHT IN SOUNDS

Many years of visions
Only led me to see
And many nights of wandering
Watching for signs in the open sky
Has lead me to this point

The deafening scream
Of a moon rising
The soul twisting orchestra
Of the sunset
And the long playing rhythm
Of the growing tree

My visual life
Has now been paired
With a musician
A female musician

I have become dependent
To her sound

Frequencies that her voice could fill
And I could only feel

I am overjoyed to have
Heard myself finally
On the person of a woman
Who made me so happy

Moonlight paved our aisle in the ocean
Trees bear fruits of ringing bells
Silence provided the melody
Of our synergy
Sealed by the ring
Of the full moon

THAT STARE

That stare before orgasm
Eyes almost closed, mouth round, open
Where do they go?

To the ends of the rainbow
Or it would just go around the earth
Floating with the clouds
Jumping in peaks of mountains
And back into the spine of ecstasy

That moan of joy
Ever climbing to a higher pitch
At what end will it rest?
Will it subside
Or break through heaven
An all white silence
Cracking to an explosion of colors
Like pails of paints
Thrown on a clean canvass

Multiple repetitions
Ebbs and flows
Life has insisted itself
Pumping between two nations
A whole ocean between
Legs

The creations of the universe
Has found an unconventional path to God
Sex has become a way enlightenment
Of two souls who found love

OTHER HALF

My whole life
I was only looking
Seeing myself.
But never have I felt
Hearing myself
Not until the day I found love

Bells ringing in my heart
That has been stagnant for awhile
Now beating endlessly
In waking and in sleep
Playing the drum
Chanting the voices of the spirits
Marching with the rhythms
Of the universe

Seeking attention
For the longest time
Wanting appreciation
For the longest time
Searching for company
For the longest time

My life that is lived in art
Has found music as its other half

I paint
She sings
Our laughter breaks the silence of loneliness
Our oaths seal the peace within
The dullness of gray
Became bridges of rainbows
The composition of thoughts
Turn into musical scores
Our love became a theatre of inspiration


UNDER THE MANGO TREE

Under the mango tree
She’s playing her guitar
And I’m writing my pages

Under the mango tree
The shades of the leaves
Write notes on the grass
Read by insects, in an orchestra
We could only interpret

Under the mango tree
My head on her lap
Her heart on her fingers
Plucking the strings
To a music she could only understand
But which I truly, fully felt

Under the mango tree
Birds fly and nestle
In the branches of our tangled thoughts
Humming
Whistling
Tickling
The trunk of our twin souls

Under the mango tree
We kissed
Sealed our fate
Pronounced our oaths before the cows
Tied our promises below the roots

Under the mango tree

STONE PRAYERS

Tired from my day’s work
I found myself squatting
On a pile of gravel and sand

My hands crawled to
Specific stones
Mounting them up
Like ladders to a nearby heaven

Time has passed us
And the passing crowd
Witnessed formed images
Talking about the weather
Or some Neanderthal homes
That traveled to the future

Stone after stone
Some defying gravity
A slight movement could
Bring my dreams down

Had to walk up, had to wake up
Not sidewards, forward nor backward
My two feet on the ground
With my head tilted to the sky

This pile of stones I mad
Are made to guide and remind
Walkers who already found the path

UNTITLED

Every crafted painting
Is a sunset bursting in colors

Every carved sculpture
Is a mountain protruding tall
Every composed music
Is a bird humming a song

Let our love rise with the sun
And set with the moon
Let our love blossom with the flowers
Dance with the butterflies
Let our love run with the animals
And crawl with the insects

For the cycle of creation
Has penetrated deep into our souls
For the river of life
Has flowed into the bed
Of our mutual purpose
For the wind of the universe
Has occupied the feelings
We commonly initiate

That we succumb to the will of nature
That we surrender to the destinies
Tasks of us

That we let go
And let God

DOT ABOVE THE CEILING

Wanted to sleep
Wanted to cry
Wanted to laugh
The overwhelming joy in my heart

Wanted to sing
Wanted to dance
Wanted to write
The verses of poetry
Swaying before my face

Wanted to walk
Wanted to stay
Wanted to read
Restless from all the happenings
Trying hard to store each moment
In my head

Live can be a misery
When its so happy

I am brought to a stare
To a dot above the ceiling
Fixed and could not move
Could not drag a tear
Or bend a smile

I am made powerless
By the profoundness of happiness

UNTITLED

I need not think of anything
This morning
The sun has defined it clearly

Every blade of grass
Are pages of my diary
The dew at its tip
Holds it true
No matter how crazy it sometimes gets
The trees are my values
Rooted deep in my culture
In the land where I was born

The mountains are platforms
For my dreams
Of giant sculptures that emanate love
Through constant hardwork
I may slowly achieve

Blue skies are my pads
To draw my thoughts
My far out visions
Of a colorful world

The clouds remind me of my soul
Floating, flying, fleeting
Always insisting on its freedom

UNTITLED

I am heavily wounded
Two decaying wounds
On my left knee
A boil on my leg
More boils at my back
Wounds on my fingertips
Scratches on my arms

What I have
Is a real
Dirty work
Constantly exposed
To heat, dirt, cement
Chemicals and criticism

MONSTER MAYBE

Visions of green and red
Red blood exploding from
A green apple

Unexplainable feeling
A single leaf
Walking towards me
Cold wind on my left cheek

I have the strangest urge
To scream and stretch

I cannot draw
The dictates of my head
I am brought powerless
By the fact that
I am
Only human
To comprehend
Signs that appear
So vividly

UNTITLED

Calm morning
The many many waves
That bump each rock
Resonate a harmonious
Sound in my ear

I feel stoned
In bliss

Hard and heavy
In the principles
That drive me
Yet willing to be shaped
By circumstance
That come my way
Which calm me

UNTITLED

Last night in my sleep
In my half-way state
To dreamland
I wondered about reality

The moon was staring
Right through me
As I gazed back
A vision of a giant kite
Flew in front of me

Suddenly
The rope was in the hands
My fate
Everything seemed
Like daylight

It was so clear
That I could see my tears
Reflected by the moon

And in the moon
I saw myself
A tear containing a giant kite
The moon
With the tear
And me

I tore the kite
And the moon
That contained me

UNTITLED

Sculpted water
As whispered by the wind
Carved stones
Crafted by the waves
Mountains and hills
Shaped by time
The ever changing masterpieces
Above the sky
Painted by the seasons
Clouds formed
By the skill of a thought
Flowers bloom
Into their perfect shape
Butterflies metamorphose
To last eternally

Everything
Everything but the human hand
Whose touch might
Spoil beauty into dust
And the will
Drags strength
Into the mist

UNTITLED

Woke and walked
To my usual space
On the bench
By the beach
And thought

Is there ever death
That truly speaks of death?
And life that fully
Screams of living?

How I wish to experience
Total silence

Where I can breathe
The air of love
And not decay in the blight
Of hate and anger

How I wish to vibrate
In all directions
And lie still
Deep within

As hard
As this stone
Where I am

WHO OWNS WHO?

The physical realm
Has fucked men and women
In all possible holes
I cannot imagine any reverse
To again become whole

I pray for a divine meteor
To wash away all our sins
And start afresh

But the bubbles are just mine

Should I silence my hands
From their purpose
So as not to complicate
The lives of others?
Should I hide in the forest
And sulk
In my weird understanding
Of human nature?
Should I kill myself
And flow with the wind
That blows in my ear
Inviting to the heavens
Of no limitations

I’m sorry
I only wanted to sculpt
Freely without dictations
And speak my heart
With the purest of intentions

UNTITLED

Many hearts
Have not spoken
The waves of the ocean
Have come to shore
To share
The deprived silence
Of their thoughts

The cries that lie
Beneath her smile
Has clouded this day
Into a storm

UNTITLED

Sun rising
Clouds clearing
A double rainbow crosses the sky
The vast ocean is dark in blue
But the waves near me
Are starting to clear

I am swallowed by the depths
Of everything
Trapped in my own shallows
My arms wide open
In accepting my limitations
And so
I smiled
Alone
Before the clouds

I looked at my weary hands
And said to the waters

Wash these pair of hands
Which have been trying
To interpret
The language of your mystery

I am never perfect in my expression
And I am open
To the great probability
That I am wrong
That I have, all the while
Been doing wrong

Guide my hands
As I will myself
To move in your direction

UNTITLED

There I was
Alone
Just me and the storm
The whole undefined sky
A blur in my naked eye

The only answer
Given before me
Where the strong waves
That rocked my ground
Were

I cannot stand
The pressure
Of this dream

The islands in front of us
Disappeared in fright
The sun withdrew
To its shell

UNTITLED

I am leaving this
Place today
With the mystery planted
Several feet below its ground
And several more feet
Above in the open

Explaining myself
Would demean
The whole purpose
Of my creation

After all the hard work
And my excruciating back pain
My existence here
Is called to an end

It is not my place anymore
My creatures have found
Their spot
And it is up to them
To fulfill their roles
As new souls

I thank you for the sunsets
For the breeze
And my morning coffees

And all the poetrees

UNTITLED

Dragon fly
Freed by the sound
Of silence
Dancing still
In the rhythm
Of the pond

Guiltless
Pure
Flowing whisper of the air
Lost the flutist’s intention
To play

The calmness
Of all of life
Is swallowed by
These two creatures

Non-moving
Passionately living
Not breathing
Vibrating

UNTITLED

The virgin has no words
Bulging eyes from
Crying for the world
Helpless in its will
To change the course
Of all of life

She stitched her lips
And prayed in thought

Dear God
Let your son
Shine their path
And your daughter
Hear their way

Let your waves
Pull the push
Of modern tides
And your rain
Wash their pain

Let your ocean
Spread the answer
Of your father
And the wind
Whisper
The wisdom
Of your mother

UNTITLED

The evening cannot lie
Only the dishonest
Sleep in their shame

A housefly awake and bugging me
At three in the morning
Two beings burdened
Bothered in their flight

I cannot sleep
I don’t know about the roosters
They seem
To scream
For help

UNTITLED

I placed a rose
An old leaf and a new leaf
At the base of my sculpture
I poured coffee
To my mixed cement
And pit on it
For strength

How thin can I
Spread myself
To touch as many?

How contained must I
Become to not lose myself?

How much space am I allowed
To bloat my soul?

How eccentric can I pretend
So to be free?

How crazy can they see me
In my knowing?

How happy can I get
To be
In my being?

UNTITLED

I want to break away
From my controlled sanity
And run carefree
In the gracelands
Of my pattern-filled thoughts
Into my seemingly
Abstract reality

There is a need
For me to go to the bathroom
And shit this useless
Urge
To kill myself

It is coming
It is behind my back
The thought of death
Flushed from
My spine
Down

I am tired of sharing
My strength
Extending my gifts

But there is just
So much love
So much love
In my heart

That I have to
Puke
And fart
And blurt
And shout
And scream
And glare
It out of myself

UNTITLED

Plants die
Mice eat to live
Rivers are non-existent
Much less
The mountains
And their breeze

This space is a place
Of work
For the tired and weary
Who cannot just die
And vanish
Destined
Obligated
Chosen
Trapped

UNTITLED

My hands are
Too crumpled
For my age
My skin is
Too wrinkled
For my time
My head is
Too big
For my heart
Too huge
For this life

I am lost
In my searching
Confused
In my asking
Swallowed
In my seeking





UNTITLED

A most quiet afternoon
Coming from a dead sleep
Life has began before

The silence is deafening
Except for my heightened
Sense of smell

Rotting animals
Stinking street cats
The fragrance of the lines
Of dreaming
Now beginning to fade

MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION
2006

I shall not pollute my mind more than it has already been, by limiting myself only to sense-full things, books and people
I shall not limit my words only to what sounds truthful to my heart
I shall focus on the given work and earn it earnestly with pride
I shall look up to the clouds and look down to the earth more often and read its poetry, to gratify existence
I shall limit my material properties to the level of need and extend my spirituality from myself to the metaphysical
I shall keep on expanding my perspectives so I can understand more my human race
I shall walk with my hands and not with my head, ground my creativity to the level of purpose
I shall carry always a second mind so I can behave constructively in times of doubt
I shall play fairly and honestly with the circumstances brought by the wind
I shall welcome moments as falling leaves, light and willing, accepting, to tumble on the pavement with laughter, to dry and wither in peace
I shall drink water like wine, that its every drop intoxicates my being with the greatest gratitude for having to live and breathe
I shall look at adults as children probably lost, confused or wandering, playing hide and seek with destiny
I shall keep on painting rainbows and flowers, to remind myself daily of my own beauty and the world which I grew in
I shall promise to be gentle to everyone, discard other promises into just one
I shall eat greens and yellows rather than the darks and the dulls, to nourish my imagination, for healthier thoughts and deeds
I shall smile more often, allow the moon to cradle my lips in day and in night, so I could infect a wholesome glow to those I am with
I shall trek more mountains and waterfalls, to remind myself of life’s peaks and downfalls, of altitude and my attitude
I shall have my daily bath in the sun and relive God’s glory, and mud myself with earth to stain myself with God’s humility
I shall stay away from loud music, loud people, and anything loud, allow myself some conversation with my spirit, listen to its inner voice and wisdom
I shall light a candle everyday for world peace and personal peace

IN SILENCE

I wanted to cut my tongue
And loan it to the ripper
Who’ve been scaring children
But never gave a clue
On what’s after death

I wanted to shut my mouth
To not say another word
To not commit verbal misunderstandings
That would mislead this world even more

I wanted to stay silent
Sit down by the lake
From sunrise to sundown
To spread the madness and confusion
In my head
In its calm horizon

I wanted to slice my ears
Shut my world from the outside
To only listen to the beat of my heart
And allow my blood to whisper
Whatever tenderness is left inside

I wanted to be deaf
A great escape for not learning
To be dump, and innocent and penniless
A greasy man on the streets of mortals

To be good these days
Good men like myself
Need to do nothing
Need to be nothing

MOONSHADOW

Caught a moon
Placed it in one of my secret pockets
It was my priced possession
But not until the day I met her shadow

I inquired and I pursued
And I fell in love
We walked hand in hand
‘Til we reached the ocean
The grand spread of knowledge and wisdom
She led to the bottom most
And had brought me into something higher
Wider, incomprehensible
Her face morphed with the surface
The shadow that she was
Became my reflection

BLUR

Silence can be deafening
I guess I don’t have the patience for details
In interchanging adjectives with my other words
My house is circular like a spaceship
Flying leaves and falling butterflies
Mount Apo peeking
My daughter is becoming a freak
Like her father
My wife ate a watermelon
The roof is leaking
Frozen deers and giant flying lizards

Theories of the beginning
Contained in a children’s story
Polarized sunglasses
Polaroid camera buried in concrete
Pizza with family
Movies and popcorn
Long drives and irritating conversations
Unnecessary talkbacks
Birds mating songs
Flowers pressed on plain clothes
Firetrees
Confusing peace in the head
Calmly agitated

The sound of pounding hammer
From the next hill
Hitting my hand
Our caretaker’s mentally ill daughter
Swaying like a princess
Under her avocado tree
Wind rocking the paint bucket planter

Ros and her boyfriend
Kissing like thirsty bees
Cool breeze on my face
The faint scent of pine trees

The philosophy of life
Boiling in hot mushroom soup
Lovely noodles
Now coiled in one elongated shit
Papaya trees and sayotes
The memory of making love this morning
The memory of waterfalls
Naked and true, naked truth
Goats with milking infants
(unreadable line)
I only wished for a hot cup of tea
And a serene mind floating by the lake
Lotus sculptures with images
Of religions around the world
Mars and other planets
The idea of death
Reincarnating into a lizard
With five heads
Spirals and more spirals
Dying guava tree
Curtain of clouds
Chickens and taros
The simplicity of life
Eating mongo beans and getting high
Two cups of rice, fried lumpia
And miso soup

Why is time eating my days?
Like a cannibal pig chewing itself
Can I have a beef leg
Without killing the host?
Parasites.
That’s what we all are
And we need to see ourselves
Through other to be able
To understand the grand purpose
Of creation

Dilapidated bahay-kubo
Spaceship shack with dots on walls
What kind of animals are we
Who step into each other’s ego?
Who defines who?
Who draws the line?
Strawberry ice creams and
Extremely expensive infant milk
And what do I care?
But yes I do care and out of respect
I hide to shut up
My useless blurts

Loud politicians
Noisy students
Rowdy kids and teenagers
Where do I go?

I walk with my fingers
Constructively creating a path
Of manifested thoughts
An example of a life
Lived fully

PAINTINGS IN MY HEAD

Couldn’t catch poetry in my head
Couldn’t freeze a falling leaf
Can’t block a stream of clouds
Can’t see through fog

I’m allowing my age
To wrinkle through time
Eating moments like cookies in a park
Feather grows heavy
Wet and grounded
Lying on the grass

I don’t like flying much now
But I still stand erect, eyes closed
Everytime a breeze hits my face
My imagination has been caught
By a web of truths
Only my spirit
Clairvoyantly moved on

Days wake up without me
Birds sing songs from a distant tree
Sunsets hide in mountains before the open sea
I’m left to paint a portrait
I’m not allowed to see

Playing and painting with my daughter Satori
Hearing her laugh rattles my core
Spending time with Maan
Eating her food and rocking with time
Swimming with my brother Hafid
Planting with my Dad
Malling with my Mom
Quality family time

What a life I have now
Collecting invisible artworks
That I have in my heart
An exhibit only for my soul

MISSING YOU MORE

No sunset today
Gray skies
A hint of a dying afternoon on the west sky
It’s making me miss you more

Lying on the grass
Tired from my day’s work
Looking up at the sky
Staring at nothing
Seeing clouds holding hands
It’s making me miss you more

Feeling the wind on my skin
Passing between my fingers
Between my armpits
Tickling my ears
Birds
I feel like flying there
It’s making me miss you more

Kissing a flower
Smelling its essence
Blossoms
Blurs
You
It’s making me miss you more

LOVE’S EMBRACE

When poetry falls into space
It things itself until it disappears
To come unnoticed before your eyes
Gently caressing your ears

Cool breeze on my cheeks
Falling leaves
Animating my thoughts
That I cannot verbalize
Water on water
Like glass on air
I can see through me
Reflections of my history

Chasing butterflies in the garden
Playing hoola hoops with my mind
Smelling buds of flowers
Listening to birds and insects
A neverending twist of laughter
Oh, I’m just so full
And so filled

Once there were rainbows
In people’s heads
Patters in their skins
And love songs in their hair

Those days of poetry
Are now gone
Evaporated by the winds of modern time
When poetry falls into space
I retire in love’s embrace

AROUND

Went around in circles
Sat in heavy and dark corners
Slept on leaves
Dreamed on feathers

My life now has to end living
To finally fall in love
With everything
The sparkles of light on water
Has brought magic into my way of seeing


Sunset and moonrises
Blue skies and rainbows
I have now worn my face in colors

Dyed my heart deep in blue
To absorb all lessons
And reflect all challenges
That come my way

Bent my knees
Twist my neck
I’ll do anything to keep my consciousness
That flower in my hand grows so healthy
For I shower it with joy

I look up
To ask blessings from the sun
To bow down to gratify the ground

There will be no dead ends this time
I’m spiraling up my truth
Ends and beginnings are gone
Eternity has found infinity and beyond


LOVERS MISS

When lovers miss a day
Separately
They grow weary

Like sunsets behind a mountain
Seeking for the ocean’s horizon

Like the moon shadowed by the earth
Eclipsed in darkness

Like rains that never end
Days turn to nights, unfelt

When lovers are apart
Birdsongs have rhythms in their ears
The wind blows kisses on their cheeks
Blue skies mirror each others’ fate

When lovers soon unite
Lightning and thunder hit their hearts
Flowerbuds can’t wait ‘til dusk
Rivers run wildest through their blood

When lovers meet again
Forever will never end
Yesterday’s deceased
Tomorrows don’t exist